With the festive season now upon us, many will be making plans for nights out with friends, family and work colleagues. It is a great chance to unwind and celebrate but when that includes sexist “jokes” or other forms of abuse, you contribute towards a society where women do not feel safe.
Abuse can happen to anyone, but the reality is these behaviours disproportionately affect women and girls.
What is abuse?
There are different types of abuse that might take occur in a public place such as a bar or restaurant, these include:
- Making sexually explicit comments or gestures
- Leering or unwanted staring
- Unwanted sexual attention or asking questions about someone’s sex life
- Groping
- Stalking
There are many more examples and if it feels wrong, it probably is wrong.
The UK Government’s ENOUGH campaign has a number of resources on abuse and what to do if you experience it. Here.
Spiking
This Christmas, St John’s Ambulance has launched the “switched on to spiking” campaign, which aims to raise awareness of the signs of spiking and advice on what to do.
According to a survey carried by the charity, almost one in four of 18 to 42-year-olds believe they have been spiked.
You can learn more about the campaign and spiking first aid here.
What can I do if I feel unsafe on a night out?
If you are in immediate danger or there is a risk to life, call 999.
You can also Ask for Angela. Ask for Angela is a safety initiative that allows people to discreetly seek help if they feel unsafe or threatened in a bar, club, or other licensed business:
How it works: Anyone can ask for “Angela” to indicate they need help. Trained staff will then assist the person in a discreet way, such as:
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- Reuniting them with a friend
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- Seeing them to a taxi
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- Calling venue security and/or the police
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- Providing a safe place to contact a friend
But it’s just banter?
If the other person is upset, scared, offended or made to feel uncomfortable by your behaviour, it certainly isn’t funny. If they don’t find it funny, how can it be banter? Abuse isn’t banter, it never has been and never will be.
There are many legal acts in place which mean that this type of abuse is illegal and anyone who carries it out could be prosecuted.
There are also a number of workplace laws which mean that you could face disciplinary action if you take part in this type of abuse during a work Christmas party.
How can I help stop it?
We all have a role to play in stopping this type of abuse and ensuring that everyone can enjoy social occasions safely.
If you overhear or see abuse, stepping in doesn’t have to result in a confrontation. The ENOUGH campaign provides a range of information on how to help on its website. This includes STOP:
- Say something
- You can show your disapproval at what is going on for example, by not laughing and saying, ‘I don’t think that’s funny’. Or you could be more direct, if you feel it’s safe to do so, by saying it’s unacceptable and tell them to stop.
- Tell someone
- You could tell someone in charge, like the bar staff if you’re in a pub or club, Human Resources (HR) if you’re at work, or the train guard or bus driver if you’re on public transport. You could also tell another member of the public or a passer-by and see if they’re willing to help – working together can be a safer, more effective way to intervene. It is important to check in with the victim on who they want to tell, or if they want to call the police.
- Offer support
- You can ask the victim if they’re OK. You could capture what’s happening on your phone and ask if they want the footage to report the incident, and you could offer to help report it. You could also help others already giving support. If it’s someone you know, check in with them when they are alone and offer to help or support them to report it if they want. If you think they might be in an abusive relationship, there is expert advice on what you can do and support available online or on the National Domestic Abuse Helpline.
- Provide a diversion
- Sometimes what’s best in the moment is creating a distraction, giving the person being targeted a chance to move away or giving others the opportunity to get help. You could strike up conversation with the victim, e.g. ask for directions, or where the next stop is on the bus. If you’re at work, you could make up an excuse to speak to them about an unrelated task. You could also try dropping something nearby or creating some other minor commotion.